Forty - Third War, Louise Moeri

Journal by Sang Won Lee

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Day One

When I realized that soldiers were in our village too early, it was too late for me to run away from them. Without any moment of hesitation, my new life had begun when revolutionaries grabbed my arms, forced me to get on their truck, and left my mother and siblings behind. Lolo, Ignacio and I were recruited into the army of the revolutionaries. On the truck, we thought about escape, but when we arrived at the fortress, we realized it was impossible. The camp they called ‘fortress’ was awful, dirty and disgusting. It was a first time I felt loading bananas was better. We met two boys who were the same age as us, Juan and Whistler. But none of those were my favorites. Sergeant Diaz and Captain Mendoza were emotionless and strict with us. We got uniform that were tattered and dirty. I felt sick when I thought about the uniform which may have come from one of the dead men. We had to learn many things on the first day without enough food. We learned all types of signals, how to move the rifles: “Ready, Aim, Fire.” While we were training at night, when we all realized that the sky was full of helicopters, which seemed to be loyalists. Explosion of white fire had brightened the wood, shells struck everywhere. But very soon the helicopters flew away, leaving lot of victims. Back to our tent, I was so scared I wanted to cry. Yesterday I was loading bananas and now I was a soldier who expected to be shot dead at any moment. I’m not sure if I can manage this. This war won’t end, and either way I would be killed. I’m afraid.

Day two

There was a funeral for those who died last night. During the ceremony, I couldn’t see any pray, no one brought flowers, or appeared to grieve. The officers, brought us here but they did nothing for the dead soldiers. Does anybody even care about them? Is this fair? Yesterday Juan mentioned that ‘We are cheap but copters cost big money’ and ‘Copters are not here because there is too much danger of copters being destroyed and not for us’ Is that true? After the ceremony I realized that one of the victims was son of Captain Mendoza. Was the revolution that important to him to lose his son? I mean, to be honest I never thought Revolutionists will win this war. Compare our uniform, number of soldiers or weapons with those. There is no way that the revolutionaries were better than loyalists. Also even we won this war, their would be another revolution against our side.

Day Five

Today was the first time we visited one of the village which had supported our army. But something unusual happened in the village before we got there. It was the loyalists who had killed all the people in the village. The elders, men, women, even every young child was involved in the genocide which was committed by the loyalists. How can they even kill young children? Looking at the dead bodies, I blamed myself. If we weren’t late, we could have saved these peoples’ lives. If we weren’t late, we could have killed those jerks and saved these poor people! From this experience, I finally realized whose side I should hate. It was the loyalists. I promised myself that I would kill all those loyalists with my rifles. But god didn’t take all villagers’ lives. We found two survivors, a wounded girl who looked ten years old and her little brother who born that day. The girl named ‘Magdalena’ was afraid of us when she saw us first time, and she was looking for her father. She had a slender hope of saving her little baby. She was thin and poor. Her appearance reminded me about my family. Yeah! What about my family? I wondered what happened to my village while I wasn’t there. Did the loyalist also attack our village? I hoped mom, Concepcion and two little babies were still alive. With this uncertain answer I left the village.

Day Six

I think I understand about how revolutions are financed, fought, and run. Before I joined this army, I thought armies worked in three steps. Bought soldiers and weapons - attacked and killed their enemies, and finally buy more soldiers and weapons for the next attack. But it wasn’t simple as I thought. I learned many things were happening there when I met a guy called ‘Choya’. He exchanged ammunition with our rifles. But I thought he was on our side because he was wearing a same uniform as us. Although I changed my mind after Juan told me something. Juan said the army rifles Choya brought were sold by the loyalists. In addition, he told me in the ways of the war, sometimes the people we fought against aren’t always against us also sometimes the people we fought for weren’t even with us. But the army that has a financial problem like the revolutionaries have to steal ammunitions and guns or kill others and get their belongings.

Day Eight

One of the soldier’s jobs is to prepare for the war. Because I knew that will happen to me, I promised myself that I will be a good soldier, good shooter. And today was that day. San Ildefonso had fallen to the Loyalist. Our revolutionary army divided into groups and marched to the nearest river by San Ildefonse. In the battle, Lolo and I were separated due to chaos and when the battle was over, we didn’t see each other, nobody around me was recognizable. But without enough breaks, in another battle a loyalist’s bullet went through my left shoulder then everything vanished. When I woke up I was lying in the jungle. I recognized someone next to me, it was Nacio. I asked him about Lolo and he said Lolo had been injured in one of the battle. I worried about my old friend but I told to myself that he won’t die that easily. When I asked him about Whistler and Juan, I remembered Whistler had run away in front of me, screaming. Also I saved Juan in the battle. I thought they were emotionless machines that only exist for killing enemies. But they were not. Whistler and Juan who I saw in the battle were just normal young boys who feared blood. I felt sympathy for them. Nacio surprised me by telling me he was going to escape. I was surprised when he told me that Captain Mendoza had arranged him to escape to US and would support his education to make him a doctor. He also told me that I was also free to go and that was also Mendoza’s order. I thought about Mendoza. I knew it was Mendoza who brought us here but it was Mendoza who treated Lolo’s wound. It was Mendoza who took care of two survivors from the village. It was Mendoza who now gave us freedom and little hope. Nacio said Mendoza wanted me to be a school teacher, who could care about people, to serve. But it was Mendoza who taught me how to serve others. I realized how silly I was. Soldiers don’t fight because they are asked to do, they fight because they have their right. Even their rights are big or small if the forty- fourth war comes they will be ready, to fight for their country. I have become a soldier, and I will always be one, whether I’m in the army or not.

Conflict

There lived a tiger and a deer in the jungle.
There were Loyalist and Revolutionary in the battle field.

The tiger had strong jaws and deer had small jaws
The Loyalists had SAMS Revolutionary rifles

The tiger always ate deer
The Loyalist always destroy Revolutionary

Positions were taken
But it was a losing battle

The tiger ate the deer
The loyalists killed the revolutionaries

The law of the jungle

When men into animals turn
When the strong crush the weak

The earth red with blood
The earth wet with tears